Back in May I wrote about a peer Mixed Group I have been involved in for many years.  I explained how I'd been coming to this Mixed Group since 1991 and how the group had evolved and budded off both a Men's Group and Women's Group.  I talked about the origins and purpose of these groups and also why writing about my personal involvement in them seems relevant to this blog on stress, health & wellbeing.

Besides the Mixed Group in May, I have also come regularly to a Men's Group in November.  They are both just four days long and I've found them hugely precious over the years.  This autumn's Men's Group was at Wiston Lodge about an hour's drive south of Edinburgh and I took my Eee PC along to it to write a bit about my experience: 

On the train to Glasgow.  It's a Saturday afternoon in early July and I'm heading over to meet up with my old friend Larry to spend 24 hours or so together looking at how our lives are going.  We've been getting together to do this three or four times a year for the last 10 to 15 years.  Typically it's over a Saturday to Sunday afternoon.  Ideally we try not to make it in one of our houses.  We've found we get more of a perspective on how our lives are going when we're away from desks, emails, and a thousand other demands.  We alternate meeting up in the West or East of Scotland.  Today it's my turn to head West.  I bring my bike over on the train and will use it to cycle up the towpath of the Forth & Clyde canal and then on to Larry's.  Probably we'll then buy food and head out by bus and foot to an out-of-the-way shack owned by one of Larry's friends.  There isn't any running water or electricity, but it's quiet, dry and surrounded by countryside - a great place to breathe and take stock.

There's a huge amount more I could reflect on about the group.  I'll keep it here, though, to just a final set of thoughts about the overlapping field of group therapy.  These peer groups are about

Why are these groups often so great, so welcome, so precious?  Real life is very rich - theories only capture aspects of this richness.  However a theory, that I like a lot, highlights one reason why these peer groups are so important.  The theory is Self-Determination Theory (SDT).  It has evolved for over three decades.  The SDT website (see below) is a treasure trove of information about this approach.  It contains hundreds of research papers covering SDT's application to many fields including happiness, wellbeing, friendship, couples, parenting, education, psychotherapy, healthcare, political/ecological action - to name just some of the more obviously relevant. 

SDT focuses particularly on the crucial importance of satisfying three basic psychological needs - autonomy, competence and relatedness.  It proposes that:

I wake feeling sadder this morning - partly because it's the last morning, partly because there are still feelings from yesterday hanging around.

Up, making time for a longer yoga practice this morning. Settle on Satie's piano music as a background CD. Sitting meditating with Catero. A plunge in the stream. Such a beautiful spring morning.

Woke a bit after 6.00am. Lay in bed for a while, then up, washed. How am I feeling today? How am I feeling about the group? How are we doing?

The morning starts slowly and gently ... ambling up to the kitchen, doing some tidying away after the night before, switching on the big hot water urn ...