I’ve just been to the Farmer’s Market here in Edinburgh and I set myself the challenge of being more chatty than usual to the stallholders I was buying food from.  I ‘pushed’ myself to be friendly & talk more than I’ve ever done before (and I’ve been going to the market intermittently for years) … and it was such fun.  Tender, bubbly, jokey, light.  And I had more of a spring in my step for hours afterwards.  And it didn’t mean that I took much longer doing the shopping than I usually do either.  And as one might have predicted, this ‘good mood’ and happy positivity then splashed over into my actions subsequently (see Barbara Fredrickson's 'Broaden-and-build theory' of the function of positive emotions and her comments about

At our eighth & last session of the Compassion, wisdom & wellbeing training, we reviewed the journey we've been on together over the last couple of months.  We looked at what each of us personally had found most interesting & valuable.  The weekly reflection sheets that we'd filled in could make it easier to remember the variety of areas we've explored.

“ One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.  He said "My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all.  One is Evil.  It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.  The other is Good.  It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith."  The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf wins?"  The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed." ” - Anonymous

   Social networks: social identity & the importance of both formal & informal groups (what can we do?)

key points: 

the social identity model highlights the value of group membership (more & less formal) for both psychological & physical wellbeing - are there groups you would like to join (or initiate) and are there helpful ways you can increase the sense of the importance to you of some of the groups you're a member of (for example by increasing your involvement with them).

“ Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate ” - Barnett Brickner

                       Social networks: Dunbar's 5-15-50-150 model (assessing how we're doing)

key points: 

1.)  Please would you download a personal community map (see below) and begin to fill it in. 

2.)  While filling in the map and afterwards, answer the items on the associated questionnaire ... and start to jot down possible intentions too.

“

We camouflage our true being before others to protect ourselves against criticism or rejection.  This protection comes at a steep price.  When we are not truly known by the other people in our lives, we are misunderstood.  When we are misunderstood, especially by family and friends, we join the "lonely crowd."  Worse, when we succeed in hiding our being from others, we tend to lose touch with our real selves.  This loss of self contributes to illness in its myriad forms.

” - Sidney Jourard

               Social networks: Dunbar's 5-15-50-150 model (sympathy group & full active network)

key point: 

“

Beware the barrenness of a busy life.

” - Anon

                         Social networks: Dunbar's 5-15-50-150 model (support clique/closest relationships)

key point: 

In this first part of three on Dunbar's 5-15-50-150 personal social network model, I introduce the crucially important inner layer - the 'support clique' of closest relationships.

“

I thank you God for most this amazing day: for the leaping greenly spirits of the trees, and a blue true dream of sky; and for everything which is natural which is infinite which is yes.

” - e e cummings

Social networks: social identity & the importance of both formal & informal group memberships (background)

key point: 

The intriguing additional value of understanding social networks through a social identity lens is highlighted and a wealth of emerging research validating the importance of this approach is introduced.

“ There are no paths, paths are made by walking. ” - Australian Aboriginal saying

                                                                Social networks: an introduction

key points: 

1.)  emerging research is introduced that highlights the great importance of personal social networks for disease prevention, psychological resilience & optimal wellbeing. 

2.)  links are provided to three ways of taking this forward - self-determination theory, social identity theory, and Dunbar's 5-15-50-150 model.

“ Wherever there is a ruin, there is hope for treasure ” - Rumi

                                          Social networks: the value of a self-determination theory lens

key points: 

1.)  I introduce self-determination theory (S-DT) - a serious contender for my favourite approach to understanding how best to build wellbeing. 

These home practice suggestions link with the seventh session of the Compassion, wisdom & wellbeing training.  There are seven home practice requests for the fortnight until our 8th & last evening together.