Conflict: not too much, not too little - when to get real & problem solve in close relationships
Last updated on 11th June 2011
(this post is downloadable as both a Word doc and as a PDF file).
I read a lot of research. When I find an article of particular interest I download it to my bibliographic database - EndNote - which currently contains over 16,000 abstracts.
(this post is downloadable as both a Word doc and as a PDF file).
I wrote yesterday about conflict and the costs of over- and under-assertiveness. Today's post adds further thoughts about making conflict constructive.
(this post is downloadable as both a Word doc and as a PDF file).
Occasional disagreement and conflict are pretty much inevitable. I scanned Medline for relevant research articles to see if there are any helpful insights that have emerged recently. As usual when one trawls for information, hundreds of publications emerge. Here are a few of the areas I found particularly interesting.
Back from the four day peer group in Cumbria. Back into the rich, busy, fascinating river of 'everyday life'. I've written already about the last full day of the group in "Vision express & where are these groups going?" and, as well, about confrontation in "Authenticity, learning & interpersonal conflict". The last morning of the group was good too, with a dip in the stream and a final breakfast, a group meeting with appreciations, learnings, and then to tidying up, lunch, leaving. Driving North again through Spring sunshine and showers. Precious times.
So how was yesterday? In the blog post "Peer groups, Cumbria spring group - third morning: authenticity, learning & interpersonal conflict" I talked about conflict & confrontation. I think I jumped in too fast and too hard a couple of days ago in a small group interaction that sparked some difficulties we went on to work with yesterday. Good intention, good work. Things have moved forward it seems. Teasing out the issues, being honest, hearing each other, apologising for unnecessary hurt. And it seems to me, it's well worth going back again to speak more about it ... to see where we've got to in our individual processing of what happened. There's potential learning here for me, for the other person, for our relationship.
Have I screwed up? I wrote yesterday about the first full day of this peer residential group. I woke this morning with wisps of cloud in my mind ... a flash of Lady MacBeth ("out, damned spot") ...